Thursday, July 22, 2010

Rolling With It, by Papa

It's so easy to fall into routines or patterns only to find that a month, a week or even a day later those routines and patterns are not working. More challenging for me is to realize they're no longer working and to adjust, or at least try something new for a time.

For example, although Anjali only goes to sleep via nursing or in arms, I was most often able to rock her to sleep and then put her down in her bassinet, crib, swing or our bed. We even found some music that helped her find calm and to sleep (not necessarily soft and "calming" music per se). But three or four days ago it changed; as soon as I would lay her down she would cry, sometimes eyes open and sometimes closed. It became frustrating for me because everything had been working pretty well. So after three and sometimes four attempts to put her down I would have to give up either with an awake baby or an in-arms baby. Or I would revert to the Ergo carrier. I also noticed that in the past three or four days Anjali starts crying if we leave her alone in a room (even for 30 seconds to empty a potty) or we are not giving our undivided attention when she is playing.

However, twice yesterday I was able to put her in the bed and she napped for a while. And this morning the same, although in the afternoon she wouldn't have it.

So I am reminded that I have to roll with it. It's such an important concept that so easily eludes me sometimes. I have to roll with it, listen and watch for what Anjali is communicating or needing, and remind myself that this baby is constantly growing, developing and changing. What she needs or likes today may be very different tomorrow. In the rougher times when she just needs to be held most of the day it is best that I give her that, suspend the things I "need" to do and remind myself that every phase leads to a new one.

It is often best to trust our intuition (easier said than done!).


TPS-SheilaP said...

oh, daddy, you are doing wonderful work. know that anjali feels your love and attention and appreciates it.

is it possible anjali is starting to get separation anxiety? uma got it when i went back to work at 5 months.

JeremyD said...

It is possible it's separation anxiety. Certainly the last week and a half has been tough bc mama is on call. Since Wednesday of last wk she has only had one day off...and the last three days have been 10-12 hr days for last night she actually had to go back in around 9pm for an hr and a half. Thankfully for all invloved this wk is coming to an end.

Most of the time Anjali is fine. And I just try to leave her as little as possible either by wearing her or carrying her or setting her up with me. Yesterday I brought her high chair in the kitchen while I made dinner...and at one point I sat her in front of the bathroom while I put my contacts in, etc.

The end of the day is harder...all that missing mama accumulates. Fuzzy is also waiting impatiently by the door...